Brody
by speedracerX
Summary: My heart was broken and I had no idea what I could do to fix things, but there was a message from Boarder line on the screen. What could possibly be so bad that she needed to tell me? why couldn’t she just let me sulk in peace. The answers could kill me.


Chapter One

The rain beat outside my window. I stared at the large droplets forming on the sill and thought about everything that was going on. My heart was broken and I had no idea what I could do to fix things. He said that he had loved me, all of his actions had indicated that he did, he even brought me that vintage Stones t-shirt I had been eyeing in Spencer's. Who could have imagined that all these weeks would turn out so horribly wrong? I sure didn't see it coming. Lightning flashed outside and the thunder roared in the distance. My heart felt like it was swelling. I just can't understand what could make him not like me anymore. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I swiped at them with my sleeve. The hurt was becoming unbearable and I just couldn't seem to make sense of anything. Two days….two long unbearable days! I have to get out of this funk; I can't possibly be the only girl to get dumped by a guy. A guy who really seemed to get me. Who listened and really listened and didn't just stare at me gaping like a dog. The tears just wouldn't seem to stop and my heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute. Ok, just put one foot in front of the other, you can't let people see you like this, get it together. Monday was rapidly approaching and the thought of facing it and the ridicule of having been made a fool of was looming on the horizon. But my thoughts brought me back to him, what was he doing? Why did he leave without any mention? Why was he acting so strangely? Did he every love me or was he just saying that?

My computer screen flickered to life, indicating I had a message. My fault I never turned the darn thing off, but its not like my parents would complain about the illicit use of their electricity. I stood up on shaky legs, my eyes no doubt puffy and red from all the crying I was doing, as if all the crumpled up Kleenex falling onto my rug wasn't an indicator. I sat down at my desk and clicked my mouse to go into my emails. There were a few from some of my friends, likely asking me if I wanted to hang out. I couldn't bare the thought of reading those and scrolled down a little further. That's weird! There was a message from a Boarder_line on the screen. I opened it without thinking; I had to know if he was at least okay. I read it through once, not sure that I was understanding what I was seeing but sure that I at least knew it was from him.

Dear Jade,

I am so sorry for what I put you through. I cannot explain my actions only to say that it is for a good reason. I know I said that I don't love you but even as I type this out I know, and hope that you realize that is probably one of the biggest lies I have ever told. I love you, I don't even have the right words to tell you how I feel about you, but we can't be together. It hurts, but I didn't want to leave you without any answers. Not that I can say much more than that. I will always love you and I will always care for you, and it is because of that, that I can't be with you. Someday, please find it in your heart to forgive me. I am truly sorry.

Love always,

Brody

Are you kidding me? What the hell is that? I love you but I can't explain why I left you alone at the Starbucks when I promised that I would meet you? And why can't we be together because you became a turn coat? I had to read the words again, there had to be some meaning there. If you love me then you couldn't possibly bare to be away from me. None of this was making sense. Least of all to me. Well we'll just see who he writes off. I hit the reply button and bit my lip out of habit, for some reason that always calms me. I started typing,

Dear Brody aka loser,

You are an immoral punk whose sick idea of right is to step on the feelings of those who care about you. You lack regard for people's feelings and are the quintessential pariah of our time. I am only sorry that I didn't see this sooner; I would have saved myself the hurt. I hope you are happy with the image you see in the mirror because as far as I'm concerned you're persona non grata. Let me dumb it down for you, lose my email addy.

Jade

I could barely breathe, my heart was pumping a mile a minute and it was all I could do to keep from hopping in my car and driving to his house to confront him. How dare he leave me without a real explanation. What kind of loser doesn't show up for a date, then sends a text that we are through only to send an email that he loves me but can't be with me. What on earth is he trying to pull? My anger was getting the better of me. I hopped up from my desk, banging my leg in the process. I marched over to my closet and pulled out the cutest outfit I could find as I thought to myself; Oh! I'll show you Brody, you have no idea…..

* * * *

It was only an hour later when I was in my car damn near flying to the Starbucks on Peninsula. I barely noticed the beautiful lawns and large houses in the neighborhood, too wrapped up in playing over the last few weeks in my head. I normally Sunday drive everywhere but today I had a purpose and I was gonna be damned if I sat in my house crying for another minute over a boy who literally just blew me off without a reason and took the cowards approach to doing it. Screw that! The light turned green again and I accelerated up the road and hit a turn. I was only doing 60 mph but that was a bit much around here and in the rain no less. I realized I was going too fast and began to ease off the gas. At least the houses weren't as much of a blur anymore. I kept driving until I hit the Southern State; I completely passed the Starbucks when I saw that none of my friends cars were parked there. I kept driving, fleeing the reality that Brody clearly was not going to be mine anymore and searching for answers that were far from available.

My headset brought me back to planet Earth. Beep….beep…beep

"Hello" stupid, stupid why didn't I check the caller ID

"Jade!" It was Sascha, one of my closest friends. If there was anyone that I could talk to it was her. But after the note that Brody left I just couldn't bring myself to speak. I had way too much emotion coursing through my veins and I didn't want her to see me like this.

"Sascha, I can't talk right now. I'm on the highway and I am kind of going through something right now." I said trying to mask the tension I am sure she sensed in my voice.

"Jade, listen I need to talk to you honey. Can you come to me? I'm at the galleria near Sunrise. How fast can you get here?" Typical, she shopping and needs my opinion.

"Sascha sweetie, I'm serious. I really am not the person to go shopping with let alone hang out with right now."

"Jade you have to come to me right now, its urgent."

"Look Sascha, how often do you go through things I try to be fair and rational. I let you go through it in your time on your terms, so can you please just give me a minute. I promise to catch up with you tomorrow before school." I hadn't meant to raise my voice that way but I was losing it and fast. I was better off in Riverhead, away from the madness of the city.

"Jade" Her tone had completely changed "Honey, I am asking you to come to me because what I have to say to you I don't want to do it over the phone. Now come over here and don't make me have to find you." She said. This was new, rich considering that her news usually consisted of things like clothes, boys, and parties. In spite of myself I couldn't say no, she sounded like she really needed me. As I cursed her in my head I responded. "Fine, I'll turn around. I'm at exit 25; I'm still not used to this car."

"Ok come as soon as you can, but hurry" She hung up.

I was beginning to feel like I needed a new set of friends. What could possibly be so bad that she needed to tell me in person? Much less why couldn't she just let me sulk in peace. I tumble that around in my mind as I switched lanes and neared my exit. The few idiots that questioned the seriousness of my BMW got flipped the bird. Hey! I had to take my rage out on someone; at least I didn't have to deal with them up close.

* * * *

I pulled into the lot at the galleria, a knot forming in my stomach at the scene playing out in front of me. There were what seemed to be a ton of police cars clustered around the lot. The scene was utter chaos. The rain was coming down in torrents and the lightning was just as bad. I had almost forgotten about the rain, but it seemed more pronounced here as I tried to find a spot. I had to park and step out to find Sascha. I tried her on her cell but there was no answer. Sascha always answered her phone. At about the third message I spotted her on the side of a crowd that had formed around one of the cop cars. "Sascha!" I shouted over the sound of the thunder. Jesus it was miserable out here. "Jade" she waved at me to come over. "What the hell is going on?" I tried to take in the view but there were so many people and flashing lights that it was like sensory overload. I kept scanning the lot to make sense of what I was looking at so when I turned to look Sascha in the eye and demand that she tell me what was going on, I was completely perplexed. She looked really sad and troubled. I couldn't remember her sounding that way on the phone. I grabbed her arm "What is it?" She looked down and wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Sascha, what's up?" Tears began to well up in her eyes, making her mascara run _(She never wears waterproof, she's allergic_). Now the knot in my stomach felt like it was going to take over my torso. "Look Jade, I…I don't." Was she trying to send me into the black abyss? I needed her to spit it out because now she was really scaring me. I questioned her with my eyes since my words weren't working. "I am so, so, so very sorry, honey, but its Brody. It looks like he's gone." Gone…gone…gone…gone….The words just seemed to rattle around my head. Gone. "Wait! What are you talking about did he tell you he broke up with me?" Even she hadn't known about us. This I knew first hand. We hadn't made an announcement but I knew that everyone would know what was up on Monday. "No honey, Brody is dead." She said motioning over to the cluster of cops standing around with note pads and uniforms. I felt like my whole world just got pulled out from under me and then without warning everything just went black.

* * * *

I woke up in the back of seat of a car. The rain was still coming down in unnatural waves and gushes. Red and blue lights were dancing around the windows, illuminating shadows here and there. My head felt like it was going to explode and my eyes hurt so bad it pained me to open them. I realized that Sascha was holding me and the car was moving. I jumped up when I put the whole scene together. "What's going on? Sascha what's?" But I didn't need a guide for this part, what she said was true, Brody was gone. I felt like a dam had burst inside of me and I couldn't stop the sobs from coming. Sascha didn't say anything as the car led on the backstreets toward my house. She just comforted me. I thought back to his email and to our last times together, trying to sort through it and just make what was happening make sense and be real, but none of it did. I ended up passing out again, this time more from sheer exhaustion at crying than anything else.

-THE NEXT DAY -

I awoke to my bed, the sheets felt good on my skin and there was light seeping in past the heavy curtains. My mouth was dry and my body ached in weird places like I had done exercise that I didn't know about. The painful truth was still there, but I wasn't ready to face it. I couldn't make myself accept him not being there, breaking up with me barely made sense, this just didn't sit well with me. I sat up and tried to will myself to move just so that I could keep myself busy. I felt groggy but otherwise ok as I padded into my bathroom. I turned the water on high refusing to look at myself in the mirror. As the water beaded down on me from every direction, I let myself cry some more. I had to get it out. He said that he loved me but that he couldn't be with me. Why not? As I replayed things in my head, I got more questions than answers. The heat from the hot water felt good and I reveled in it longer than I expected to. I finally turned the water off. I knew I couldn't hide in my shower all day, even if that was what I wanted to do. As I made my way back into my bedroom, my cell phone went off. I let it ring; I knew that I was in no shape to deal with anyone right now. I pulled out my favorite grey sweats and a tank, fluffy teddy bear slippers topped it off. I threw on one of my ancient Yale sweaters, a gift from my dad; he was an alumnus and took great pride in pushing his alma mater off on me. As I opened my bedroom door, the smell of waffles and fried chicken hit me like a ton of bricks. Hilda, our housekeeper, must have been cooking my favorites to cheer me up. I took a deep breathe and lingered for just an extra moment so I could put on a brave face. Then I headed for the stairs.


End file.
